The Cat's Meow: Does My Cat Love Me?

“Chico, stop staring at me!” I yell at Chico, my vagabond cat, as he does his nightly staring routine. He sits on the floor of the living room and stares at me so intently that you can see the prism of his eyes. His gaze, keen and focused, does not relay any particular emotion, just a stare. This ritual makes me wonder whether he is trying to say something telepathically, plotting how he is going to kill me in my sleep or if his deep stare is a sign of unrequited love. At times, I meet his gaze with my own intense gaze, but he barely blinks and just keeps staring. Like many cats, Chico’s behavior can be quite mysterious and contributes to the cat versus dog debate. Dogs communicate their love by wagging, licking and pure excitement. A cat’s love or discomfort is much more challenging to decipher.

My co-worker George, a cat dad who lives in Bayou St. John, is convinced that his cat Mimi adores him and that she conveys her love by purring softly. Mimi is an indoor cat and is a part of the ragdoll breed. They are known to be playful and affectionate and are perfect for small children. She has a fluffy white and yellow coat with the signature bluish eyes, like most ragdoll cats. According to George, Mimi loves people so much that she has been known to grab their legs to stop them from leaving the room. Mimi is such a star that she has her own Instagram page, which you can follow @mimi_meeoo. Cat behavior varies from cat to cat, but understanding what they are trying to communicate takes lots of skill and patience.

Chico, on the other hand—who you may recall is a foundling that was left on a rocker on my porch—has an unknown pedigree. His grey, black and white stripes signal that he is a classic tabby, which are not a breed. According to the blog Catster: “The tabby pattern is determined by the agouti gene, which causes the individual hairs to have bands of light and heavy pigmentation … namely stripes, blotches or spots.” Chico even has the tell-tale M pattern on his forehead and mackerel-like stripes that run down along his spine and on both sides of his eyes. Although they are not an official breed, Catster says that tabbies do have personality traits that range from sassy, friendly, intelligent and are known to be “happy-go-lucky”. Chico’s is very friendly to friends, but sort of a bully to others. He is also a “Rolling Stone” and is always on the move, whether he is roaming the block looking for wandering critters or watching the koi in the neighbor’s pond.

Chico’s behavior is not as mysterious as I thought. Gabrielle Feldman wrote an article of 15 Strange Cat Behaviors for the Drake Center for Veterinary Care in California, and Chico has exhibited all 15. They include:

1. Chattering: Cats intensely chatter their teeth when they see possible prey. Chico chatters when he sees the noisy squirrels running across the Entergy wires above our porch. Most scientists believe that this is natural feline behavior, but they differ on the cause; some believe it is a response to excitement or frustration, where others believe that the chattering is to prepare their muscles for the act of killing prey. So harsh.

2. Rubbing: Cats actually rubbing their heads on their owners. Chico rubs his head on me daily and I thought it meant that he wanted me to scratch his head. Behaviorists actually call this “bunting” and cats do this act to mark their scent on you. According to Feldman: “Pheromones are actually being released from his head; it is his way of showing ownership over you.” So apparently Chico owns me.

3. Bringing Gifts: Cats bring their owners killed prey. This is a hard one for me because Chico preys on birds, squirrels and even unsuspecting dogs. I had to stop him from pouncing on a big crow. Chico’s vet has even concluded that he is overweight because he eats outside as well as inside. We have found a few dead mice in our pantry, samples of his handy work. Feldman states: “Cats bring gifts as a way to acknowledge that you are a member of his group, so he shares his hunting success.” She advises putting a bell on the cat so that prey has a chance to get away.

4. Eating Non-Food Items: If cats eat plastic, metal wool or cloth, this could be caused by a mineral deficiency or it could be a symptom of a rare condition called pica and it may be something to discuss with your vet. Thus far, Chico has not demonstrated this behavior.

5. Feline Kneading: When cats press their paws back and forth in a rhythmic fashion. Chico does this every night as part of his sleeping routine. He places a small piece of a blanket or T-shirt in his mouth and then proceeds to knead up and down. Feldman attributes this to a cat reliving their early suckling days. I am not sure if Chico was nursed since I found him on the porch as a kitten. Feldman adds that it could also indicate that the cat is content or that he could also be trying to alleviate stress by kneading.

6. If I Fits, I Sits: A cat’s love of jumping into boxes or bags. There is not a box that Chico does not try to fit into. His effort to fit his overweight body into a shoe box is hilarious and is the subject of most of our cat photos. He jumps into suitcases, discarded Amazon boxes, and he even tried to fit into a briefcase, but his back legs and tails could not fit. Feldman explains: “Cats’ natural instinct is to ambush prey, so being in a confined safe space allows them to observe and watch their surroundings. Small spaces make cats feel safe and secure.”

7. Cat Eyes: This is one of the most beguiling behaviors exhibited by my loving Chico. He can sit and stare at me directly as if he is looking into my soul. I try to disrupt the staring by calling his name or asking him to come sit next to me. Feldman writes that when cats stare, they are “probably trying to get your attention.” But she adds that the staring could also mean that your cat is on “high alert about someone or a situation.” She also cautions against staring back directly at your cat because the cat may interpret this as an “act of aggression.”

8. Kitty Litter Fail: When a cat misses the litter box goes by the official name “inappropriate elimination.” The only time that Chico has exhibited this behavior was the first time we went away and left him with intermittent sitters. This is usually behavioral and could stem from stress or anxiety although there could be some medical causes like bladder issues, colitis or arthritis. Inappropriate elimination should be monitored and brought to the attention of your veterinarian.

9. 2 a.m. Zoomies: A cat’s nocturnal zooming through the house while everyone is asleep. I often hear the “ding, ding, ding” of Chico’s bell as he zooms through the house in the wee hours of the night. This is related to cats’ nocturnal instincts to hunt during the night and some house cats have so much pent-up energy that they release it during the night when all is quiet in the home. To avoid the nighttime energy bursts, Feldman advises exercising your house cats during the day and altering their feeding times to later in the night “to curb the desire to hunt at night.”

10. Ear Movements: Cats twitching their ears back and forth can be an expression of anxiety or agitation. But if their ears are perky and upright they are listening. When he perks his ears, I know that Chico is listening.

11. Rolling Around: Cats rolling over and exposing their bellies. This is another source of fun with Chico. He rolls on his back with his legs in the air, eager to be rubbed on his belly. However, this invitation to play is inevitably short-lived; his playfulness can also result in unwanted scratches or bites. Feldman adds that “rolling around on their back leaves them in a vulnerable position.”

12. Oh, Hello: Cats often claim territory as a way to get attention. While on Zoom calls, Chico would often jump on the table and walk across my laptop. Whether it’s a laptop, magazine or a newspaper that you may be reading, cats know that by plopping themselves down in the middle of any of these items, that they will get some attention. Behaviorists also believe that this action allows your cat to leave his scent and claim his territory.

13. Knock It Off! Chico has never met an object on a table that he does not try to swat off the table. Although annoying, it is a basic cat curiosity.

14. Taking a Sip: Cats love running water, but this is one of Chico’s most annoying habits. He drinks water out of the toilet every day, usually after someone has flushed the toilet. He loves watching the water swirl down. As the bowl fills back up, he jumps onto the seat and maneuvers his head and body to drink from the toilet bowl. No matter how much clean water I place in his bowl, he does not drink from it, preferring to stick he head in the toilet. Feldman attributes this to a cat's wildcat ancestors, who knew that drinking from running water sources is much safer than a stagnant water source.

15. Twitchy Tails: Cats rhythmically twitching their tails. Chico twitches his tail and at times bangs it on the ground. This behavior also dates back to their ancestors, and is a sign that he could be excited or thinking of hunting prey.

Given all of these mysterious behaviors, from rubbing his head on my legs, kneading on the blankets, to his incessant staring, I am convinced that Chico loves me.